slash /faint

on a happier note...

2008-08-21T20:18:00.002+08:00

spent the day watching drama serials on crunchyroll during work today, then had a full 1 hour lunch-out with Agnes and Joshua. time seemed to pass by pretty quickly, not that im complaining about it. i hope the same thing happens tomorrow.

Joshua came back from his Hong Kong trip!! he got me 2 cute gifts from Disneyland. seriously, i love this guy man! everywhere he goes he will buy me a Winnie The Pooh plush toy from that country. he's a significant contributor to my now-218 Winnie The Pooh soft toy collection!

my Lion Pooh toy plush keychain!!

Minnie Mouse head-shaped pen!!

something funny happened during lunch today. Joshua took my Lion Pooh and in an attempt to show me that lion's mane is very furry, he actually stroked it while holding it above his bowl of noodles, and some of the fur flew into his meepok! Agnes realised it and burst into laugher, while i only got it when i saw Joshua looking horrified, pointing into his bowl, lol!

how can anyone be so mindless, to be stroking a TOY FULL OF FUR ABOVE HIS FOOD?! and so Agnes and i decided that Joshua shall be the fur-eater from now on. need to be so hungry meh, put extra ingredients into your meepok.. worse still, the extre ingredient is not fit for human consumption one leh.. lol. :P

leave me alone.

2008-08-20T18:34:00.001+08:00

i've already decided not to care for you any longer.
i realised that it was of goodwill on my part,
that i cared for your mental and physical well-being.

it was not obligatory.

but yet you had to take advantage of my guilty conscience,
to drill those untrue and hurtful responsibilities into my mind.
like me, you are selfish.
like me, you love yourself.

in order to keep me to you,
in order to make me stay,
you've said things that you know will hurt me,
you've done things that you know will cause me misery.

is this what love is?
what you've said,
what you've done,
made me all the more bent on my decision:
to leave you.

i will not be swayed any longer,
i will not be tormented or tortured.
I WILL NOT CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE,
if all you want is to make my wrecked up life even worse.
i hate to say this, but im unable to help you any longer.
the more i try to help you,
the more harm im causing to myself.

i hope you'll leave me alone now, thank you very much.

off day tomorrow!!

2008-08-17T22:22:00.003+08:00

yeah!! finally, after working an entire day of full shift (10am ~ 9pm), it's finally my off day tomorrow! i feel kinda guilty though, 'cause i just had MC a few days ago. oh well, i think i need the well-deserved break.

had a long lunch with Gary this afternoon, talked about alot of things. he told me that each time he sees me or takes a look at me he gets a pleasant surprise, remembering that several years back, when i just joined the company, he was the one who taught me all the ropes, everything i now knew.

i myself am surprised too, that i used to look up to Gary as a senior, as my mentor and my superior. and yet now we talk as equals (even though im nowhere near his position as a manager), we discuss and gossip about our work like two very senior and experienced colleagues, when in the past, i would envy the person who was talking to him in this way, in this manner.

i never dreamed that we could be on the same wavelength, never thought that i would actually know enough to talk to him like this. i remember running to him each and everytime there was an obstacle infront of me, and he'd solve my problems for me without a sweat. and yet, now i was the one helping my colleague with the exact same problems that Gary had helped me three years ago.

three years, it didn't seem like a long time, but it wasn't a short moment either... i wonder, if Gary wasn't around to help me, would i still be who i am today, knowledgeable, experienced, and most importantly, would i still help the others like how he helped me in the past? i guess i do owe him a bunch.

thank you Gary, you're the one person in my life whom i'll always be grateful to. :)

what's up?

2008-08-15T16:01:00.003+08:00

am staying home today, not feeling very well. i figured it's time i gave myself the go ahead for an off day, since Raynie's finally coming to work on time and on schedule for the past week... haven't heard anything from MR. LL yet, so i guess everything's fine.

*makes a mental note to self to NOT answer any calls from office*

im currently busy with reading The Twilight Saga by Stpehenie Meyer; words can't describe how grateful i am to her for writing this series of books that's so capitvating, so much that it's kept my mind off things that i don't want to be reminded of. and oh, im currently on the fourth and last book: Breaking Dawn.

im about one-third past the book, im thinking i should be able to finish it by tonight if i didn't keep getting distracted by MSN or food.

yeah for those who've missed me, you'll have me back soon, haha! :P

im sorry....

2008-08-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

im sorry, that i couldn't compromise.
im sorry, that i broke all my promises.
im sorry, even though i said i would love you.

even though i promised you that i will love you,
but i didn't, i went back on my word.
i saw how your heart shattered into a million pieces.
battered and torn by my words,
i could only apologize, im sorry that i can't love you.

it's hard for me, pretending to love you when i don't,
it's hard on you, pretending not to mind when in actual fact, you do.
it's hard for the both of us, to pretend what we never felt.
i want to love you, to embrace you, but i can't.

lying to you, saying that i love you when i don't,
meeting you, saying that i want to see you when i don't,
hugging you, saying that i want to be in your embrace when i don't...
i feel bad lying through gritted teeth, this is worse than cheating on you.

you pampered me way too much,
let me have my way all the time,
that i took your patience for granted.

i realised that i could live with myself afterall,
what i really wanted was not someone to love me,
but just to care for me, be my support when i needed it.

i loved my freedom above all else,
even more so than you.
i realised what i wanted wasn't a relationship,
what i wanted wasn't a lover, not a soul mate,
but just a friend.

i could do well on my own,
i can look after myself,
i'd been independent ever since i was a child.

you're right, when you say that i love myself.
you're right, when you say that i am selfish.
but you were wrong when you said that i didn't care.
i do care, only not as much, not the way you cared for me.

im sorry for all the heartache i caused you,
sorry for all the misery i brought upon you,
though i know no amount of apologies can help...

maybe 10 years down the road, or maybe even months or weeks,
i could be thinking or regretting this decision i made..

而我已经分不清，
你是友情，
还是错过的爱情。。

but i know, that i couldn't cheat you any longer,
that i don't love you. not enough to be with you.

im sorry.

------------------------

璘。

NATAS IS OVER!!

2008-08-04T20:48:00.003+08:00

yeah!! finally!! NATAS FAIR IS FINALLY OVER!! it's time to end these dark circles, eyebags and late nights!! because i haven't been sleeping enough, i have zits all over my face and forehead. :(

luckily i have wenyang to drive me home after the fair for the past 3 nights.. otherwise by taking the MRT, i really have no idea what time i'll reach home. it's a very long way from EXPO to AMK you know?

thanks baby for the hard work. :)

been looping this song on my iPod recently.. kinda hooked on it. :P

Britney Spears - Sometimes
You tell me you're in love with me
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
but everytime you come too close I move away

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me
Move it slow
There's things about me you'll just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

I don't want to be so shy
but everytime that I'm alone I wonder why
I hope that you will wait for me
You see that you're the only one for me

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good

But if you really want me
Move it slow
There's things about me you'll just have to know

Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night

All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

Just hang around and you'll see
There's no one that I rather be
If you love me
Trust in me
The way I trust in you, oh yeah

Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
(hold ya tight)
Treat you right
Be with you day and night (day and night)

Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night (day and night)
All I really want is to hold you tight
Be with you day and night

Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But I really want is to hold you tight

i can't decide whether to buy a PSP Slim, DS Lite or go do extensions on my hair. i have quite little hair now, no idea why they're not growing any thicker.. sigh. so many things to buy but so little money.

i need some moolah! :(

rollercoaster...

2008-07-28T01:33:00.002+08:00

finally decided to re-open my blog.

lots of things happened, so much that words cannot even describe all the incidents that took place.

anyways... went to Eason Chan's concert with huihui and jocelyn. and he can really sing damn well live lah.. his voice is power!! sort of begining to idolize Eason Chan already, hahahaha.

next concert im going to would me A*mei's!! i really wanna hear A*mei sing live lor. they say she's very good also. anyone wants to go?

anyway the china man has a blog. go visit him here and say hi. (:

my manager is fucked up.

2008-07-17T19:55:00.011+08:00

words cannot explain how pissed i am towards my manager. i seriously wonder how can he even climb up to this position.. let's just call him MR. LL (short form for LanLan, but his real initials are also LL, no joke!).

so, MR. LL here feels that my colleague KH (i call him my 'student' since im the one in-charge of teaching him the basics of my Department - KAJ - Korea, Australia, Japan) has attitude problems and cannot work with the rest of the staff - which, is only him since the rest of us all pretty much have alot of fun with each other at work - and he wants to transfer KH out, to the HQ where all the newbies are.

like wtf?!? hello, i painstakingly taught KH whatever he knew, and now he is to be transferred out just because fucked up MR. LL doesn't like him. im so not letting KH go - what does MR. LL think i am? newbie trainer? my department is not a training center. i don't train people and let them get transferred out in the end.

this is not the first time such a thing has happened. he transferred another staff RP out 'cuz he didn't like her too. XW let MR. LL do that, but that's not going to happen with me. whatever it is im gonna have KH stay - he's very hardworking, smart, picks up things fast and most importantly, he's willing to work OT when there are not enough staff.

i've already shot an email to the HR department, CC-ed to MR. LL pointing out his biasedness. if things don't work out, i'll just get transferred with him. and let's just see if this pathetic branch can survive without me - the ONLY expert who's good at KAJ.

also, im down with a very bad sore throat today - i totally sound hoarse. i called in sick this morning saying that i will go back to work with an MC tomorrow.

but nooo!! even if im sick i STILL have to work!! why? 'cus MR. LL says that there are not enough staff for tonight! if i don't go, KH would probably have to work OT and he can't, 'cus he has a family dinner tonight. i don't want KH to stay behind because of me, so i agreed to go to work, but i'll work only half-day, 5~9pm.

the thing is, since there isn't enough manpower for today, why did MR. LL still leave on time at 06:30pm? fuck, not enough people working because HE DIDN'T WANT TO STAY BEHIND. that's why he called a sick worker to come back and work.

im seriously thinking, what fucked up things did i do in my fucked up past life to deserve to work under such an incompetent and fucked up manager? sigh.

FUCK!!

just some random thoughts.

2008-07-14T10:07:00.009+08:00

[edit]: i hate hypocrisy, really. i feel cheated. by you.[/edit]

YES!! it's finally my off day!! hmm, so what do i do during my off days? rot at home, watch anime and (illegally) downloading MP3s or shows!! :D
yeah you can say i practically do nothing constructive but just laze my time away.

oh oh oh, i just changed my desktop wallpaper and i love it so much lah!! it makes me SO happy that i actually grin whenever i see it:

Takeshi Kaneshiro is love!! <3sigh, too bad the man is gay. :(
i mean, homosexual type of gay.
likes MEN type of gay. :(

* * * * * *
i am so so SOOOOO angry with my manager, dammit! i swear lor, if i could command cockroaches i would send ALL the 小强s in the world to his house lor! add a few lizards here and there, along with some moths and beetles. i'd set fire to his house too!

as i said in my last post, i have 37 hours of OT to claim (after having time-off from work on Sat, i now have 34 hours left), so i applied for time-off again so i could go off early yesterday to see Dr. Hanson.

<--- not feeling very well lately.
i get chest pains in the middle of the night.

so i thought i should pay my doctor a visit to check what's wrong.
BUT MY FUCKING MANAGER HAD TO CANCEL MY LEAVE!!

me: i have a doctor's appointment, i HAVE to go.
he: why, are you sick?
me: uh, obviously yes? otherwise why would i need the doctor?
he: aiyah, but you're not VERY sick right?
me: ...no? but i will be.
he: hahahaha, you can stay right?? *obviously oblivious to what i just said*

with that he turned and left, before that saying that there's not enough people working and if im gone, there'd be no seniors left!! (all the others left without permission. they didn't bother to ask 'cuz my manager is so fucked-up, as you can see)

i tell you lor i was PISSED beyond words!! and now im still having these fucking chest pains not knowing what's happening to me. the next appointment with Dr. Hanson would be 19th August! that's like MORE THAN A MONTH LATER?!?!

i swear im gonna write a long-ass Harry Potter love-letter saying that it would be all his fault if i die from a heart attack at home. that is, IF i really die lah.

how did he even get to this managerial position with that fucked-up thinking anyway?!! (i know his mindset is fucked-up 'cuz mine is too)

* * * * * *
okay.. so shoving the upsetting matters aside, on Saturday before our 赤壁 movie Ah Meh and I went to Fish & Co. for dinner; Ivan joined us shortly (happily showing off his new turtleneck with me having my jaw open in horror).

i've eaten at many Fish & Co's, and i STILL think AMK Hub's outlet serves the best food (not because i live near there, though that's part of the reason BUT it has nothing to do with the quality of the food!!), not to mention they're very efficient and fast even when the place is full.

Ah Meh's half-eaten "Al Fungi Spaghetti"
it's actually not bad, the spaghetti's cooked au dante-ly, and there were lots of mushrooms too!!

my almost finished "New York Fish and Chips"
very very crispy!! love the lemony sauce on the fish - it goes really well with tartar sauce, imo. :D

and lastly..

our humongous "Mermaid Freeze"!!
it's an ice-blinded drink with a combination of mango and carrots. very nice and refreshing taste though!!

in order for you to see how big it really is i took the picture with a normal glass of iced water placed beside it. we never managed to finish it, 'cuz by the time we finished our food we were damn full already!

but lucky Ivan the Cow was there, so he finished the whole er.. jug (yes it really is the size of a jug).

* * * * * *
i was walking past the CHEERS store yesterday evening and I SAW SOMETHING THAT CAUGHT MY EYE IMMEDIATELY!!

JAPAN JAGABEE!!
can you believe it or not, the JAPAN JAGABEE is in Singapore leh!! i swear it's fucking nice, i bought like er, 12 packets of them!! Monica (my Hokkaido tour guide) introduced me this snack and it's made of REAL potatoes lor!! real HOKKAIDO potatoes!

it's so tasty that my mum finished 4 packets liao (and me, 3).

* * * * * *
before i go off, here's a picture of a weird tropical (or not?) fruit my mum brought back home:

it's called 百香果，Passion Fruit!! :D

you're supposed to scoop up/suck up/whatever-it-is the yellowish part (which are the seeds) and eat them. it's crazily nice!! but then you can't eat the white parts, though i tried and it's pretty soft.

i think it's like 90% sour and 10% sweet.
yeah yeah whatever, i have weird taste buds..
yesyes i like sour foods.

bleh.

teh RED CLIFF!!

2008-07-12T20:22:00.011+08:00

watched 赤壁 (Red Cliff) with my Ivan and Ah Meh earlier on!! since i have 37 hours of OT to claim time-off from, so i decided to claim 3 hours and go off from work early today!!

since it's the first time im finally leaving the office early, i called Mary up and asked her if she was free to catch this movie with me. and if she wasn't, well.. just my luck, i'll have to catch it myself.

i also got Ivan to come along with us and when he came, he happily showed us this turtleneck he'd just bought. he said he was gonna wear it to his first lecture when university starts. my first reaction was, "WTF?!?!" and he actually thought i was being sarcastic when i said he was crazy. i mean, who'd wear a turtleneck in SINGAPORE right?!

talk about being ridiculous eh? -_-

and oh, did i mention that i've got a colleague who looks like Edison Chen sitting next to me at work? well, he was at AMK Hub watching 赤壁 too! and he was sitting at the next aisle seat near me, just beside the walkway!! talk about coincidence... lol.

but the bloody fucker kept throwing his popcorn at me and i couldn't really concentrate on the movie. :( he made me miss some glances of my 金城武.. D:

on the other hand, Ah Meh seems pretty interested in him. maybe i could pair both of them up together since they're both single. teeheehee. :P

* * * * * *
anyways, 赤壁 was amazing i thought, even though the movie ended halfway (the next part will be up next year January i heard). but my 金城武 (Takeshi Kaneshiro) was so handsome!! 真的从来没见过这么帅的诸葛亮!!

the movie also had a little bit of humour, though most of it was sarcasm between the characters.
林志玲 (Lin Chi-Ling) looked kinda okay in the movie, not as beautiful as magazines or media made her out to be.

oh nevermind, i shall wait for the 2nd part of the movie.. impatiently. :/

* * * * * *
added more new songs to my song player!! *points to the left* currently addicted to several songs, posted the choruses below:

Boy'z - 死性不改 (国语)
我明明应该比你知道更多爱情的无奈
偏偏就是我想不开死性就是不改
什么话都说出来像排山倒海
我的情我的爱为什么变坏
跟一个人的缘份谁比谁更精彩
我想拥有的未来我不能再慷慨
不管还有多少的伤害和失败
因为你才会明白

for some reason, my heart kinda hurts when i listen to this song..

Twins - 我很想爱他
我很想爱他
但是眼睛在说谎
隐瞒比较容易吧
免得感情变得复杂
我很想爱他
但是理智在吵架
退出可以解围吗
谁能给我一个好的回答
爱情教会我们都放不下

this song pretty much says what im feeling at the moment..

sometimes, when i think of what's become of us, it still hurts me, 'cus you left me a scar. a scar that will take a very long time to heal, or perhaps it never will heal. like i've always said, time doesn't heal. it just numbs the pain so we can move on..

* * * * * *
on a happier note: it's finally sunday tomorrow, and monday's my off day!! im always looking forward to mondays. i know, im such a terrible terrible worker. :/

happy birthday to my KING!! <3

2008-07-09T11:18:00.008+08:00

it's my King, Gary 曹格's big day today!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY KING!! <3

like me, chawy is also a cancerian! cancer people are very talented, smart and empathetic okay~~ :P (okay, maybe im an exception, but that's not the point)

i guess winning the Best Male Award would be the best birthday present this year! :D Chaw's efforts finally paid off and now he's officially recognised as being a good singer, though everyone probably knows that already. :P

anyways, my King turns 29 this year, hopefully his 造型师女友will agree to marry him when he proposes. and yes,
GARY CHAW HAS A GIRLFRIEND, HE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT A GAY!!

* * * * * *
[random rant]: i swear,
im gonna kill the next person who asks me for National Day tours.
i swear!!

everywhere's fucking full already! so just stay in singapore and watch the fireworks for free, dammit!! [/random rant]

曹格是歌王咯！！

2008-07-08T20:05:00.004+08:00

yeah!! MY KING GARY 曹格 IS A 歌王！！he recently won the award for "Best Male Singer" at the Golden Melody Awards, which is the asian counterpart of The Grammy Awards.

aww, isn't my King wonderful~~ <3

* * * * * *
today's been good, saw a few eye candies while at work. :D this Daniel Wu lookalike got transferred to our branch today, and several of my customers were very cute too~ one of them looked quite badass. had chokers on his wrist and he was wearing this really unique-looking skull necklace. he had spiked hair and when he smiles you can see his pearly white teeth... *swoons*

<-- loves looking at cute guys.
<-- has a thing for badass-looking guys too!

wahhahaha, today so lucky la~ XD

and oh, before i end my post, here's something for you to laugh at:

THE INFAMOUS "KEN LEE"!!

i swear this is a classic. XD

i wonder...

2008-07-07T22:58:00.003+08:00

saw Dr. Hanson this afternoon.
he says im diagnosed with high blood pressure.
yay!! another disease to add to my already long list of illnesses!
also another type of pills to add to my already big pile of medicines too.

* * * * * *
i sometimes wonder, why can't people understand that im only normal? just because im strong and that i'd get over it, doesn't mean i deserve to be put through misery over and over again.

im only human. why can't people fucking understand?

i do have my fears, my worries, my anxiety. i don't show it because i don't know how to. it doesn't mean i don't feel that way.

i feel so unimportant. why is it that im so easily forgotten? just one sorry, just one word, like water washing the sand and im gone. gone from your life. did i ever mean anything at all, i wonder.

* * * * * *
.. just let me fade into bubbles. how nice it would be, if one day i was gone and my existence is erased from your memories. just like water washing the sand and im gone.

without a trace.
without having ever existed.

just how nice would it be?

i wonder.

trust?

2008-07-06T20:52:00.002+08:00

[edit]: this is a really brilliant Jay Chou spoof! man, it really sounded like Jay and Fei Yu Qing!! and they can sing quite well too..

我送你投胎欠我十块你死了活该~~ ROFLMAO. [/edit]

close your eyes and your heart. see no more of this wretched world.

在这个世界上，你只能相信你自己。
信任于他人，只是对自己残忍。

time to get my life back on track. (:

been pretty much doing nothing for the past few months. was kinda at a loss when i got back home earlier on, felt very lonely all of sudden. i guess im too used to having someone accompany me whenever i needed to talk.

oh well, guess it's time i go back to being independent, though being able to depend on somebody you trust can be a wonderful thing.

i wonder, was my trust ever misplaced?

meme: 10 random facts about laffiee. (:

2008-07-05T14:10:00.007+08:00

i don't know why im doing this, perhaps im too bored and have got too much time on my hands, or i just felt that i needed to blog.

1) I like fairy-tale stories, but with sad endings.
methinks that sad endings leave a deeper impression.

2) I like watching animes because I love looking at cute anime guys. You don't normally find guys who still have their hair dry after they just come out of water in real life, do you? :D

3) I hate kids, especially babies. I think they're fucking irritating and even more so when they cry. No, I DO NOT think babies are cute. i would gladly stab them to death with a halloween pitchfork.
Just so you know, I was a good kid when I was young - I was quiet and I didn't cry much.

4) I cannot sleep more than 8 hours a day.
I cannot sleep less than 6 hours too.
I will wake up with a bad headache.

5) I need to bring 3 towels with me when I bath.
1 for drying my hair,
1 for wiping my body,
1 for me to hug when I get out of the bathroom.

6) I will always read my blog entries several times after I finish blogging.
To check for grammatical errors, typos, tenses..
It's a bad habit. Or is it a good one?
That's the perfectionist in me speaking.

7) This is what I do before I sleep:
Turn and toss around in my bed.
Kick blanket away, then wake up to cover myself, and then kick it away again.
Repeat process for several times before sleeping.

8) I call my friends by their cute nicknames. For e.g.:
Agnes - Yoyoyo
Weiyoung - Pongpong
Wei Jun - Bloobloo
Ronald - Bubu

9) I like taking taxis instead of public transport (bus, mrt).
My friends call me the “Taxi 达人”。

10) Rather not-surprisingly, I like to do meme things.
Quizzes like this one.

3 ppl to do this meme thing:
bubu, tinana, nelnel

* * * * * *
was on the mrt (yes, i know, i DO take mrts too you know) this morning while on my way to work, listening to my nano and just as when my favorite english song (Firehouse - When I Look Into Your Eyes) came into play, some fucked up swine had to play his fucking nehneh song with his cellphone speakers on!!

now, this is seriously a very bad case of noise pollution because i usually have my nano on FULL VOLUME so that i can enjoy the music booming into my ears! and mind you, that usually drowns out the noises that you hear while in the train. his cellphone was so fucking loud, that even though my song's a ROCK song, i still could hear some parts of his nehneh song WITH MY EARPIECE IN MY EARS!!

bloody hell, now you know why i hate swines. this is not the first time something like this has happened. he is fucking insensate, inconsiderate and insensitive. his bloody improvidence caused a nearby (fucked-up) baby to wail stentorianly. wow, great!! more noise to add to the din.

and even so, HE DID NOT HAVE THE SLIGHTEST INITIATIVE TO SWITCH OFF HIS CELLPHONE! how fucking mindless can he get?! i got so bloody frustrated that i moved myself three cabins away to save myself from this torment.

sibeh fucked up, these fucking swines. i hope they fucking drown in the coconut oil that they spread on their fucking head.
* * * * * *
as if my mrt encounter wasn't bad enough, it's 3:36pm now and I STILL HAVEN'T EATEN MY LUNCH!! my colleagues who came in to work the PM shift have been in the pantry eating and chit-chatting happily, hehehaha lahlehloh-ing FOR THE PAST 2 HOURS. and yet the morning shift people are hugging our stomachs, gritting our teeth and enduring our hunger for the sake of those fuckers taking their own sweet time in the pantry.

dammit, why are people nowadays so buey zi-dong one?!?! you fuckers don't need to eat but we need lor! chao tortoise.
* * * * * *
to make matters worse, my dumb and good-for-nothing manager screwed up the internet and phone line cable wires and we had to shut our computers down for a while. seriously, why can't he just listen to me and leave those wires alone, and wait for the technicians to come and fix it?! even if he took a look at them he wouldn't know what to do anyway.

some people just insist on kaypo-ing when they can't be of help at all. seriously, such idiots will only make matters worse lor, don't you think so?

sian, now im too lazy to blog about GE. i actually took some screenshots of my pretty characters one lor. zzz.

totally no mood.

office 晴天霹雳咯！

2008-07-04T14:30:00.005+08:00

[edit:] fuck!! i just got a company notice by email informing me that i got posted to the NATAS fair on 1st~3rd aug. WTF! i hate NATAS fairs! i have to work for 15 hours on that day: 8am to 11pm!! imagine waking up at 6, getting out by 6:45am and reaching EXPO by 8am! 真的是有够他妈的！！瓦特法克！！

woke up SUPER early today.. had to practically drag myself out of bed to prepare for work.. im supposed to work the PM (1~9pm) shift actually, but because my (fucked up) manager arranged this meeting and everybody had to come at 8am, i have to work a total of 13 hours today.

anyways, how very smart of my manager to schedule a meeting today and then apply for urgent leave.. i can say none of my colleagues are very happy about this and this meeting which was originally planned to talk about our sales became a complain session with our supervisor (about the manager).

one of my colleagues, CT was addressing a very serious issue of our manager being a 小人 got so agitated that the way she spoke (while full of anger) was ridiculously hilarious, i couldn't help laughing out - and was awarded with a death-stare. it was then that i realized the true definition of "if looks could kill". =x

initially everyone was extremely quiet while JS (our supervisor) was addressing us, but after CT voiced her opinions (amidst tons of laughter) everybody began to speak up. i was the only one who kept quiet throughout the whole meeting because i seriously thought it was pointless to say anything since everybody else already said whatever's on my mind.

also, i don't think i'll be staying at the counter for long, since i just applied for an application for an administrative job. im sick and tired of all the nonsensical things that my manager has been telling me to do.

the only bad thing is that my application might not be approved afterall, 'cus the other seniors are not really good in Japan and Korea packages. you can say im the only who's really familiar and good with these two places in this branch.

oh well, i'll just see how it goes. anyways, these two days have been good without my manager around. ((:

ms. chawchaw is sick + GE!!

2008-07-02T10:31:00.003+08:00

like in my previous post, i said that my ears fucking hurt after having pierced both of my upper ear cartilage. right now they're better, perhaps this is already not my first time having my ears pierced. i can now sleep on my sides, though i have to position my head gently and properly.

when they've healed i shall head on to some jewellery shops to get myself a pair of white gold earrings. ((: i can't use the normal fake silver/metal/gold ones, 'cus my ears are super sensitive and those will cause them to itch.

* * * * * *
am intending to start playing Granado Espada(GE) again since i've quitted Cabal Online and i have very high expectations when it comes to graphics. anything below GE standard is only so-so, and anything below Cabal is bad.

gameplay and interface doesn't really matter to me much, graphics are top priority, and if the graphics are good, i could login into the game and stare at my pretty characters for hours. :D

will be heading on to Comics Connection to get the GE CD pack since i couldn't get it at the CHEERS or 7-11 stores near my home.

time to get some no-life gaming addiction on now! :D

ms. chawchaw turns 20 today. (:

2008-06-30T18:29:00.003+08:00

heyho!! im officially 20 as of today!! :D thanks to everybody who flooded my inbox and MSN with happy birthday messages, really appreciated it alot. kind of surprises me to know that so many people remembered my birthday. :D

today's just like any other normal day, only difference is that 20 years ago today (1988), i was born. every year my birthdays are spent quietly, at home. with the exception of last year - my colleagues dragged me to kbox and we had a karaoke marathon on the 29th.

* * * * * *
met up with huihui earlier on and we went to get our ears pierced together!! :D i got both my upper ear cartilage pierced and huihui pierced her right tragus. the solution isn't helping much but at least the cooling sensation feels good.

<-- ears hurting like fuck.

im expecting my ears to get an infection in the next few days, though i hope that won't happen. for now, i shall stay clear of all seafood. sigh, no seafood leh, how to live?!

HAIZ!!

* * * * * *
watching the 2nd last episode of 太王四神记 now, Bae Yong Joon's really quite good-looking i must say.. though im not a fan of his (Rain Bi forever!! <3).

the drama has really good CG effects, and Sujini looks sooooo pretty with long hair!! i always perferred her when she was Se-o.

mummy saw me watching the DVD and told me to lend it to her after im done with it. :P

* * * * * *
mum just called and said she'd be bringing home some sushi today. also she got me an ice-cream cake. probably 'cus i told her a party is not neccessary, that's why she got me a cake. oh wells, my silly mummy. love her loads, hah. <3

lastly..
IM 20 YEARS OLD LE!! :D

happy birthday to me.

2008-06-29T21:40:00.009+08:00

i'll turn 20 when the clock strikes 12, and man it scares me.. i still remember a year ago today i was also at home, chatting on MSN, blogging and thinking of a present to get myself. i got myself a pretty GUESS watch. it was the first GUESS watch i ever bought. (:

im thinking of piercing my ears, on both tragus and 1 on each of my upper cartilage. i make it a point to buy myself a birthday gift for myself every year, in case i don't get any presents, but my lovely friends always has something for me, without fail. except for last year though, they got lazy 'cus they didn't know what to get me, and instead transferred $200 to my bank account and told me to buy whatever i wanted.

like wtf lah, don't even bother to go around sourcing for my present, zzz. i wonder if this year's the same too?

* * * * * *
去年的生日有 MR. Y 陪我度过
今年的生日呢是自己一个人度过吗
是自己一个人安安静静的在家里度过吗
没有人陪吗没有人陪我庆祝吗

虽然朋友们都很贴心知道是我生日
想找我出去但我却只想呆在家里
还记得去年的时候 MR. Y 答应我
他说我以后的生日他都陪我过
不管多少年只要是我的生日
他每年都会陪我过忘了吗

我想他应该忘了吧忘了过了12点就是6月30日
他曾经对我说过我的生日很特别
是6月的最后一天正好是过了大半年的30日

虽然已经不留恋了但是偶尔还会想起
因为我长这么大也只有他说过我的生日很特别
只有他说过我的生日6月30日是个很漂亮的日子

听说他身旁的女生也是6月出生的
跟我一样是6月30日出生的
跟我一样出生的日期里有3这个数字
觉得很奇怪他喜欢6月30日出生的女生吗

说对生日不在乎说不庆祝没关系
其实还是会有一点点在意
毕竟在20年前的这天我出世了

一年的365天也只有这个日子
才是真正属于我自己的纪念日
所以在这一天我想自己一个人
想要独自在家想想想想自己存在的意义

就让我安安静静的度过生日吧...

meme thing + interesting mrt sights.

2008-06-28T12:24:00.004+08:00

eh.. wtf happened to my 2 other blogposts?!? 2 of my entries are gone and they're not saved under my drafts either. weird...

anyway, a quiz below, from nelnel's blog:

1. What is the most scandalous thing you've done?
uh, trying to strip a close guy friend while clubbing. got very drunk. :/

2. Who is/are the person/s you trust the most?
my closest friends. (:

3. Do you think you have enough confidence?
no, absolutely not, haha.

4. Who is(are) the person(s) that you confide in?
hmm, bubu, huihui, mary, tinana, daryl

5. Are you satisfied with yourself?
no, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, everything low, lol.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
my mum and my friends. can't imagine how my life would become if anyone of them's gone.

7. Do you believe in eternal love?
definitely not. eternal love, forever love, neverending love are all bullshit, imo.

8. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
nope, never.

9. What do you like about yourself?
uh, my serious and stern working self? :O

10. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
no requirements.. the people i fall for might be different from my expectations..

11. Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
yes, seriously. but im beginning to think it's not such a good thing afterall since people don't always reciprocate the same way.

12. Do you treasure your family?
my mum's my only family now and i love her loads, though we quarrel and fight alot.

13. What do you dislike the most?
ROCAHES AND LIZARDS!! i swear they are always trying to attack me!! and colleagues who keep asking you the same questions over and over again without bothering to jot it down.

14. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
don't expect anyone to be, but hopefully there'll be somebody out there..

15. What do you regret most in life?
being too stubborn and too indecisive.

16. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friend's eye?
i don't have to be the most important friend, just hope to be there when someone needs me.

17. Do you love your friends?
lots. they rank no. 2 just after my mum.

18. Which date do you like the most?
30 june, my birthday. (:

19. How predictable are you?
it basically depends on how well you know me. (:

20. If you could travel in time and return to a phase of your life, which phase would it be and why?
to the day before daddy passed away. i want to tell him how much he meant to me, and that i don't really hate him.

21. If there's one thing you'd do now, what would it be?
slap my manager in the face and tell him this: "if you're so fucking incompetent then don't brag about what you can't do."

People who shall do this, for some reason or another:
bubu, tinana, venda sis

* * * * * *
anyways.. was in the mrt on my way to work this morning and to my surprise i saw this cute guy who looks like KINGONE 王传一!! super cute!! and very tall too, he was explaining the features of a samsung touch-screen phone to this girl, whom judging from the way he speaks to her, seemed to be his girlfriend. i kept stealing glances at him, lol. :P

saw alot cosplayers as well while i was on the train to Chinatown. there was Kuchiki Byakuya and Ulquiorra from BLEACH.. Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi from Naruto.. Allen Walker, Lavi, Kanda Yuu and Lenalee from D.Gray-man.. also L and Ryuk from Death Note!!

the guy who cosplayed as Kuchiki Byakuya was really cute and the L really looked like L. well i guess it isn’t too hard to look like L since all you need to do is make yourself look really pale, put some eyeliner, mess up your hair and don a white long-sleeved shirt and a pair of light blue jeans. :O

it’s becoming quite a norm to see people in their cosplay suits on mrts nowadays. it seems like the anime craze is causing quite a storm in singapore now... i remember a few years ago when i told my friends i like watching animes everyone said i was childish and referred to animes as cartoons. -_-

random entry #3

2008-06-24T10:29:00.005+08:00

since im too bored and have got nothing to do, here's a quiz found on nelnel's blog, even though it's been around since quite some time ago..

It's harder than it looks! Copy and paste to your own journal, erase my answers, and add your own. Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names &/or objects, but nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question. And Have Fun With It!!!

4 LETTER WORD: ARGH!! D:
BOY NAME: Alexander
GIRL NAME: Alyssa
OCCUPATION: astronomer? or astronaut
A COLOR: aureolineyellow
SOMETHING YOU WEAR: uh.. accessory?
BEVERAGE: apple martini!! *slurp*
FOOD: asparagus.. eww.
SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: A lightbulb?
A PLACE: alaska!! pretty northern lights. :D
REASON FOR BEING LATE: a cat fell into my toilet bowl and i took a long time to flush it away.
SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! :x

my goodness, this is amazingly difficult to do, even though i cheated at the "something found in a bathroom?" question. :x

* * * * * *

gonna watch KungFu Panda with my gary, keongkeong and beechen later on! not sure if mingming is free to join us, but i sure hope she does! heard that it's a great movie from several friends..

the last movie i watched was L change the WorLd on 21st feb with william and mingming, and i remember smuggling in subway, mcdonald's and kfc for dinner!! ken'ichi matsuyama was so cute, i remember having him as my msn display picture for several weeks. :P

there are alot of movies i wanna catch, like.. Get Smart, The Incredible Hulk, The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Missing, Sex and The City, .... damn!! so many movies so little time! ):

* * * * * *

also, in a few days' time it will be my 20th birthday!! *cough*30june*cough* would really appreciate it if someone would buy me any of the items listed on my wishlist. i mean, i'll be really really grateful to you for eternity!! :D

for easier viewing, here's a compiled list of my wishlist:

sony PSP slim
nintendo DS Lite (black)
iPod Touch
iPhone (3G)
new HP: SE w760
new sneakers
visit Taiwan

pretty please, anyone? *puppy eyes*

new layout!!

2008-06-23T19:37:00.003+08:00

so i finally got around to getting my blog a new layout! took quite some time since there's alot of html and css to tweak around, but it's all done now. i also added a music player! there, on the left!! *points to sidebar*

* * * * * *

anyway, i know the music player on the left currently consists of ALOT of Jay Chou songs, but i promise to add more Gary Chaw ones!!

im currently looping this song:

莫文蔚 - 忽然之间

忽然之间天昏地暗
世界可以忽然什么都没有
我想起了你再想到自己
我为什么总在非常脆弱的时候
怀念你

我明白太放不开你的爱
太熟悉你的关怀分不开
想你算是安慰还是悲哀
而现在就算时针都停摆
就算生命像尘埃分不开
我们也许反而更相信爱

如果这天地最终会消失
不想一路走来珍惜的回忆没有你

我明白太放不开你的爱
太熟悉你的关怀分不开
想你算是安慰还是悲哀
而现在就算时针都停摆
就算生命像尘埃分不开
我们也许反而更相信爱

我明白太放不开你的爱
太熟悉你的关怀分不开
想你算是安慰还是悲哀
而现在就算时针都停摆
就算生命像尘埃分不开
我们也许反而更相信爱

i think this song is so absolutely beautiful, though you may say im kinda outdated since it's a very very old song already. but i beg to differ, 'cus i seriously think older songs are much much nicer than the trash that youngsters have been hearing nowadays. perhaps with the exception of talented people like Gary Chaw, Jay Chou, etcetc.

and oh, you can hear this song from the music player on the left though! :D

im a lazyass.

2008-06-22T16:06:00.002+08:00

im so lazy, that i think it's even a hassle to go out of my house to watch movies. but then staying at home all the time is too much of a waste of time. perhaps it's because i feel tired, 'cus i haven't really rested properly ever since i came back from my Japan trip.

so many gifts to give out; each time i look at the mess in my bedroom i feel like im going bonkers. i haven't really finished unpacking everything, if i remember correctly i still have some stuff left in the big luggage bag.

oh, bad bad procrastinator, me! :x

random entry #2

2008-06-21T13:41:00.005+08:00

skipped work today 'cus teh laffiee wasn't feeling very well. had to take half a day's off from work yesterday as well, the headache's really killing me, though im feeling better, but the pain still comes and goes. hopefully it's got nothing to do with my condition..

******

my maid Rani went back to Indonesia today; i sure as hell will miss her terribly. the new maid Lina is just getting used to me and mummy, she still seems pretty shy even though i try to talk to her.. she's even terrified of using the toilet it seems, jumping back several steps with a frightened look when i stepped into the toilet to wash my hands just as she was cleaning the mirror. "sorry missy!!" came from her several times.. i wonder if im really that scary? -_-

i just got her to go downstairs to get me my kway teow, hopefully she won't come back with a packet of rubbish.. she doesn't seem to know where to get it. D:

edit: Lina came back, but bought my kway teow from the wrong stall.. oh well. ):

******

im still uploading all the pictures of my Hokkaido trip onto photobucket, but it seems to take a fucking long time, perhaps because each of the pic's file size is more than 1MB... which is like fucking huge i guess.. hopefully it'll be done by tonight, otherwise tomorrow (i've got well over 100 pictures to upload!!).

so no pretty sceneries or delicious food or cute animals or schoolgirls in their shortshort seifukus (sorry bubu!!) for now.

******

im dying to get a new blogskin for my blog, but i haven't found a pretty one that really caught my eye yet. or rather, i could do with one that's really simple and plain, but im even too lazy to edit the html and css, since im usually not satisfied with the fonts and sizes or even the colors...

i should really get my lazy ass off the armchair and get some work done. D:

it's another one of those random entries

2008-06-19T13:47:00.011+08:00

daddy's wife called earlier. told me that daddy left me something and she's put it in my letterbox.

it was a stack of photos of me and grandma, me and daddy, daddy and mummy and me.. well it was just plainly photos our family took together when i was still a child.

and also a huge stack of ang paos that he wanted to give me for my birthday each year. it was alot of money, with it all accumulated ever since i was 5 or 6 when he left us.

he also gave me the cards i drew for him. it always had daddy, mummy and me. and occasionally i would write him little notes in very broken english (my parents spoke only mandarin to me, they didn't know much english). he had kept them with great care, none of the cards or notes were torn, except that some of them turned yellow over the years..

it made me think about how happy my family used to be when it was only me, mummy and daddy.. and also the fun times i had when i was at grandma's place. grandma was always smiling so widely in every picture she took with me.

i teared, when all those fond memories came flooding back into my mind. if only things could be the same, if only daddy hadn't left, if only, if only, if only..

sadly, the past cannot be reversed, we can only live with this regret. hopefully the regret that lies in our hearts can make us stronger...

******

on a happier note, i did say in my last post that Hokkaido was indeed very fun! didn't take many pictures, but i did take a few..

just a simple shot of our meals~ OISHIIIIIII!!!

kobe beef - before cooking. just look at the marble fat!

kobe beef - AFTER cooking! i swear it's fucking delicious!!

the yubari melon, the cheapest and lowest grade but it's worth SGD 17!! and it's SUPER juicy and sweet!! :D~

japan pocky!! it's really cheap over in japan! blueberry and strawberry pocky~~

bear cubs at the bear ranch! they're only 1 month old, aren't they super cute!!
******

these are only the very few i've uploaded, there will be more pictures soon! :D

back from JAPAN!!

2008-06-17T18:46:00.006+08:00

PEOPLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im back from HOKKAIDO!!

Hokkaido was wonderful, the weather's really great! around 12~17 degrees celsius, really sunny! i totally loved Otaru and Sapporo, and Hakodate as well! i think im gonna spend my retirement days there!

my tour guide Monica was excellent as well! she's super humorous and so kind, she treated me to KOBE BEEF!! which was exceptionally delicious! monica's nothing like what the people said about her! i think we hit off very well!! :D

and oh, im safe, the earthquake didn't hit me. it quaked somewhere near Tohoku, and i was in Hokkaido, totally damn far away, so im okay! thanks to everybody who called/smsed to ask if im alright.

lingling loves you all plenty!! (:

p/s: pictures will be up in the next few days, or tomorrow if im free. :P

away for 7 days...

2008-06-10T13:25:00.001+08:00

flying off tomorrow morning, will be back on 17th evening.

for some unknown reason im actually dreading this trip. no idea why, but i don’t feel excited at all. it’s my first time to Hokkaido and yet there’s a sense of dread in me. in fact, it’s overwhelming.

maybe because my tour guide’s monica, who’s got a very bad reputation. perhaps secondly would be because of all the recent events that happened.

一时还来不及反应，就发生了那么多事。。。

i haven’t packed my luggage, haven’t even prepared the things i need to bring. it feels like i’ve been living in a world of my own up until now. am i even awake yet?

唉，可以改变主意吗？可以不要去了吗。。。

我要去kbox啦~~~

2008-06-08T11:28:00.005+08:00

woke up with a fucking bad tummy ache this morning, then got the shock of my life when i looked at my HP - 08:37am. fucking late!!

i have to get ready in 23 minutes!! oh well. i only got on the mrt at 09:30am and i still managed to get to work on time. :O that's something ridiculously difficult, considering that i was in a slumberous state. and i still am. x_x

been playing some songs on my HP to keep me awake.. the soyabean's not helping much and the lack of crowd and noise here doesn't help too. where do all the noises go when you seriously need them?!

super looking forward to our karaoke session tomorrow with my keongkeong, pongpong, yoyoyo and mingming!! THERE ARE A TON OF SONGS I WANNA SING!! especially..

Trademark - Miss You Finally

But I miss you finally
But I miss you finally

Try to remember all these years
We shared the laughter
Shared the tears

Thought that forever it would be
I realize you lie to me
I still hold on
Still dream of days when we were one

You played with my heart
You played with my mind
But I miss you finally
Right from the start
My love made me blind
But I miss you finally

All of these promises you made
This 4 letter word it seems too fake
Baby it's hard to understand
Now that you're gone
We reached the end

I still believe
Still dream of days when we were one

You played with my heart
You played with my mind
But I miss you finally
Right from the start
My love made me blind
But I miss you finally

You played with my heart
You played with my mind
But I miss you finally
Right from the start
My love made me blind
But I miss you finally

You played with my heart
You played with my mind
But I miss you finally
Right from the start
My love made me blind
But I miss you finally

You played with my heart
You played with my mind
Right from the start
My love made me blind

super nice loh!! i wanna sing!! ((:

and of course my favorite english song of all time..

Firehouse - When I Look Into Your Eyes

I see forever when I look in your eyes
You're all I ever wanted
I always want you to be mine
Let's make a promise till the end of time
We'll always be together
And our love will never die

So here we are face to face and heart to heart
I want you to know we will never be apart
Now I believe that wishes can come true
'Cause I see my whole world
I see only you

When I look into your eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

I've looked for you all of my life
Now that I've found you
We will never say goodbye
Can't stop this feeling
There's nothing I can do
'Cause I see everything
When I look at you

When I look into your eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

Ohhhh

When I look into your eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
We will always be together
And our love will never die
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

When I look into your eyes

真的很期待，等不及了！

i love bugs bunny.

2008-06-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

刚刚在跟诗薇通电话
她说她前两在paragon逛街的时候
看到我以前的那个“他”
以前的那个 MR. WILL。

她说在他身边有了另一个她。
好久没有听到这个人的名字了，
突然间提起感觉有点怪怪的

好想知道那个她是他的谁，
不是因为心痛或妒忌还是吃醋
而是真的很好奇那个女孩是谁
那个幸运的女孩是谁啊

MR. WILL是个很不错的男生
可以说是很好的男生很棒的男生
但最后还是我辜负了他
现在还很内疚觉得对不起

突然很想和他联络跟他做朋友
不是别有居心只是纯粹做朋友
只是很矛盾因为不知道要怎么联系
不知道要怎么持续这段友谊
唉，我看还是算了
有缘自然还是会再见的

MR. WILL，祝你幸福
知道你过得好我很开心
要快快乐乐哦

******

good news good news, ka-chingching!!

my darling keongkeong came back from AUSTRALIA!!
and she got me a SUPER CUTE baby bugs bunny from movie world!

im calling him FURRY. :D

yah i know it sounds gay, but who cares? he's a baby anyway.

thanks alot keongkeong! lingling loves you plenty plenty. :D

不识自己。

2008-06-05T19:39:00.004+08:00

sigh, what am i doing? im so unlike myself.. getting irritated over things that are no longer any of my business, feeling the frustration over matters that do not concern me...

i don't even recognize myself anymore.. i feel like an angry, jealous and obsessive monster, and it disgusts me. i should really stop being curious and digging out matters that i obviously know will depress me.

i thought i would be busy preparing for my trip to Hokkaido.
i thought i would be kept busy with the number of phone calls i have to make.
i thought the trip would be able to keep my mind off the recent events have been happening.

it all seems so surreal, everything. sigh.

and why the hell am i lamenting about these things here?!
just what the fuck am i doing?! i should have better things to do than doing all these.. it doesn't help, it doesn't help in any way at all.

just let me forget already, please..

梦中醒来。。

2008-06-04T11:22:00.002+08:00

谢谢你，
谢谢你告诉我你的答案。

虽然心很痛，
但至少我不必再等待。
虽然已经知道了，
但还是不知觉的掉下眼泪了。

谢谢你，
在过去的这段期间，
让我很快乐。
这像梦一般的幸福，
我体会到了。

梦醒了，
回到现实了，
回到了残忍的现实。。
但至少，
我的梦是甜美的。

谢谢你，
一定不会忘记你。
一定不会忘记，
曾经有一个你让我很快乐。

接下来还有的日子，
我会快乐，我会开心。
虽然心痛，
但我会幸福。

there won’t be anyone to wait for you to get home after your clubbing sessions or late night outings anymore, do take care, alright? (:

is death the end..?

2008-06-03T21:40:00.006+08:00

daddy passed away last night. mummy told me today, and she had tears in her eyes. i asked if she was crying, and she said no. i knew she cried. she's my beloved mum, the person i love the most to no end. of course i knew she cried.

i wondered why she cried for daddy, since he betrayed our love and trust so many years ago. then i realised she loved him too deeply. what could possibly make someone forgive another for betrayal, cry for another for his demise? i guess it's only love.

i cried too.

for he was the daddy that i loved, admired, idolized.

but still, i couldn't forgive him. even after he died, i still can't. im sorry, daddy.

******

张一航
CHANG YIK-FANG

DOB: 23 JUL 1988
DIED: 11 SEP 2001

已经好多年了，
你在另一个世界的一端，
你还好吗？
你看得到我吗？

一航，
在这个世界的我，
真的很痛苦。

心好痛，
好久没那么心痛了，
上一次是你离开的时候，
你离开我们的时候，
我也是这么痛苦的。

一航，
多希望你还在。
多希望你还没离开。
如果你还在，
你一定会告诉我一切都会没事。

像以前一样，
你会在我哭的时候给我纸巾，
你会叫我不要流心泪。
你会跟我说，
“眼睛可以哭，但心不能哭。
心要快乐，眼睛流泪，不要紧。”

一航，
在天上的你，
看得到我的部落格吗？
在另一个世界的你，
知道我多需要你吗？

你说过，
你一定不会丢下我一个人。
可是为什么，
7年前你却先走一步了呢？
我现在该怎么办呢，
痛苦，真的很痛苦的时候，
希望你在的时候，
我可以找谁呢？

一航，
多希望时间可以倒流，
那个时候的我，
一定会跟你说我的心里话。
在你走之前，
一定会跟你说出我心里的话。

虽然现在跟那时的感觉不一样了，
但我还是希望你能回来。。
虽然已经不可能了，
但我会放弃所有的所有，
只希望你能回来。

一航，
你在上面，还好吗？
是否真的有天使翅膀插在你背后，
像你所说的，
所有的好人死后会上天堂。

你是否也上了天堂，
变成了天使？
想像你曾经跟我说的，
你死后一定变成天使，
保护着所有你关心的人。

一航，
我的好朋友，
一航，
我最好的朋友，
一航，
我最好最好的朋友。。

我需要你的时候，
你在哪儿呢。。

hokkaido, hokkaido..

2008-06-01T11:54:00.004+08:00

it doesn't help when you've got alot of things on your mind.

it also doesn't help when you've got alot of things on your mind and that you have to call up your customers to brief them about their holiday.

it really doesn't help when you've got alot of things on your mind, you have to call your customers AND work in a boring environment at the same time.

******

for several reasons im not feeling excited, nor am i looking forward to the trip to Hokkaido at all. too many things have happened and im still unable to process the information that was registered to me.

nevertheless i did call some of my passengers yesterday and they all seemed pretty nice. luckily for me they are all english-speaking people, which means i would have almost no problems at all if there were to be some form of communication between us.

hopefully as the date comes nearer i'd be able to pick myself up and set off with energy again. (:

******

been thinking about it for the past few days.

should i go ahead to pursue my dreams? or should i stay behind for all the ties i have here? my family, my friends, my loved ones..

to leave singapore, to study in the UK is my dream. i've always thought about things like, "where will i be if i was in UK? what would i be doing now?" there are just so many possibilities that might've happened if i left this country early.

im having second thoughts about staying on now, since what i long for left me.. running away you may say, but at least by running away i could offer myself some words of comfort..

but then the earliest i could leave would be in September, since i have to serve 3 months' bond in the company for leading the Hokkaido trip. until then, i shall seriously think and consider about what i really want - if im really gonna stay on, or leave this place which holds so many tearful but beautiful memories...

stressed, depressed...

2008-05-31T16:48:00.002+08:00

it feels like i've been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few days. so many things happened at the same time it really makes me feel so so so helpless. i've never felt so small and useless before - it's like i can't even do anything right.

my dad's in critical condition at the hospital, due to the hereditary genetic blood disease that i got from him. his wife called my mum (my parents are divorced) and told her to inform me to go see him since he may just go anytime.

im still hesitating, in confusion, in a serious dilemma. one thing is, i hate my father to the core, for abandoning me and my mum, for betraying our love, leaving us, his family, for a woman he's known less than a year. i hate him for breaking up my family.

i admired and loved my dad alot, he was my god, my everything. my world came crashing down when my mum told me that daddy left and was never coming back to our home again.

now im supposed to see this man whom i loved and now hate. and he's already half-dying in his death bed. it makes me think: will i be like this in future too? when im on my death bed as well..? sigh..

***

im missing him alot.. have never missed anybody this much. why did things turn out this way. was it because im not caring enough, im not nice enough? or perhaps i wasn't good enough?

还来不及仔仔细细
写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑的离我而去

i want things to go back to how it was. i want to return to the past..

***

sigh.. many times i've thought that since we're all going to die eventually, it's just a matter of time, whether you die sooner or later. perhaps it'll be better if i could just leave the world earlier.

just let me fade away,
turn into bubbles...

love and hate

2008-05-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

love can be a hateful thing..

when you have all your defences built up, protecting your heart from hurt, someone just comes and breaks your wall down bit by bit.

little by little, you let down your defences, and as you open up to that someone, your wall starts crumbling and before you know it, you're not protected from him anymore.

and when your wall has collapsed, that special someone leaves, and you're left on your own, heartbroken and painstakingly picking up the crumbled pieces of your wall, alone.

bubu, thanks for being there for me when i needed someone so badly.. <3

开始忘了。。

2008-05-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

第三晚了，
第三晚失眠了。。

整晚睡不着觉，
心很痛，
快要痛死了。。

已经好久没为了一个人那么痛哭了，
已经好久没为了一个人那么伤心了，
已经好久没有这种失去一个人的心痛了。。

自己有一个坏习惯。
就是非常伤心的时候，
会为自己写诗。。

已经好久没写诗了。
最后一次，是3年前，
我为了那时的“他”写诗。

今晚，是3年以来第一次写诗。
真的好久好久没有这种伤痛了。。

是因为爱吗，
还是因为自己活该。。

幸福和快乐
本来就不属于我，
但我还刻意强求争取。

是我活该吗，
所以让我得到了又失去。。

开始忘了爱

漫长而孤独的夜晚
灰暗而冰冷的天空
是否会有天使出现
让我忐忑不安的心有所依靠

想躲进一个人的怀抱
抛开一切烦恼
让时间慢慢的过
让泪慢慢的干
让心慢慢的淡

暴风雨来临
无处可逃
没地方可躲
眼前的沙漠
毫无留情的将我埋没

眼眶里含着一点点泪光
心里流着一丝丝温暖
脑海里还浮现着你说过的话

你曾经许下的承诺
变成了永不实现的谎言
你曾经给的安慰
变成了致命的毒药

天慢慢灰了
灯慢慢息了
开始忘了
什么叫做爱了

是时候放开了吗，
我应该等吗，
真的放不下啊。。。

我的爱

喜欢你是错误
爱上你是一种罪
想念你想让自己麻木
放下你变成了对自己的辜负

难道幸福快乐从不属于我
是自己活该吗因为喜欢上
喜欢上了所以是自己活该吗

不了解不懂得
爱难道不能回来吗
爱难道就这样溜走了吗
爱难道就这样失去了吗

我的爱难道再也不可能了吗
我的爱你知道吗
“当你在想着一个人的时候，
那就表示那个人也在想着你。”

我的爱是你吗你也在想我吗
你知道是我在思念你吗
你知道我有多爱你吗。。

可以忘掉吗，
忘掉那些你说过的话，
可以忘掉吗。。

to: “他”

你太好，
太完美，
我不配。

对不起。

2008-05-27T18:39:00.003+08:00

alot of things are on my mind and i don't know how to put it into words.. it seems like i've lost my ability to comprehend, to understand, to express myself. it feels like all words have left my brain, like my language ability has left me.

today has been a bad day. nothing's been going well, only exception is perhaps the confirmation of my tour leading trip to Japan, Hokkaido.

***

i don't know how i should feel. i don't know how i should tell you how i feel. that im unhappy.

im really really unhappy.

really upset..

random picture blogging.

2008-05-26T17:48:00.005+08:00

hmmm hmm... kinda bored, so i figured i shall post a little something here. :D

my bedside. a pooh and my three TY beanies. <3

yes that's a Gary 曹格 pin-up you see there. :P

pink guava & mango gelato i had @ paragon. super delicious! *drools*

shark's fin soup my mum cooked for me last night.

look at the big slab of fin!! :D~

was on an emotional rollercoaster the last few days. pity my poor bunny who's been subjected to my unreasonable snappings and irritation. guess i wasn't confident enough. :/

thanks alot bunny. <3
i will try my best! :D

[edit]: my manager called me up and asked if i wanted to lead a tour to Japan, Hokkaido (日本，北海道) on 11 June!! :D im super tempted to say yes. just talked to bunny and he says that i should go too! ^^

shall ask my mother tonight. hee~

对不起。。

2008-05-25T18:14:00.005+08:00

对不起。

不是我怀疑你，
是我没有信心。
不是我不相信你，
而是我不相信我自己。
不是我不爱你，
是我受不起。。。

世界上最痛苦的事情，
是拥有了，然后再失去。
我不想再尝试这种痛，
不想再体验那种得到了，
然后又让幸福溜走的感觉。。

对不起。

我伤害到你了吗，
我让你伤心了吗，
我让你心痛了吗。。

对不起，我的爱。
真的真的很对不起。

喜欢你，爱上你，
就是一种罪。
得到你的爱，你的关心，
更是罪加一等。。

你太好，
太完美，
我不配。

对不起。。。

***

就算是会失去，
我也不怕。

至少，曾经拥有过。

can i have you back, my bunny? (:

那些话。。。

2008-05-23T15:20:00.003+08:00

真的很烦，
最讨厌的事情，
最害怕的事情。。
发生了。

有了现在的“他”(bunny)，
我很快乐，
真的真的很开心。

但为什么，
在我快乐的时候，
我的过去总会回来干扰我。。

以前的“他”(MR. Y) 最近一直给我打电话，
给我传简讯，
我一直没回复。
不是因为要逃避，
而是因为没有必要再拉拉扯扯下去。

我们之间早已经在去年12月6日结束。
当你狠心的对我说你变心了，
就已经结束了。

我从来没责怪过你，
因为我知道人是会变的。
太阳不会永远燃烧着，
月亮不会永远闪耀着，
爱，当然不会永远不变。

是你先背对着我，
离我而去。
是你先说分手，
害我痛心。
是你先说你不爱了，
没意义了。

我虽然说过会等你，
等你回到我身边。
但我也说过，
我没耐心等太久。
当我决定继续我的生活，
我就不会回头看。

你现在才说原来最爱我，
太迟了。
我很快乐，
现在没有你的日子，
真的比以前更快乐了。

“你哭，也没用。”
这些话，很耳熟吧？
那是你曾经对我说过的话。

现在，我不会对你说那些话。
我知道那听了让人很痛心，
所以，我会对你说，
”往前看，不要回头了，
不要再沉迷在过去之间。。”

祝你快乐，MR. Y。

以前的不喜欢 vs 现在的喜欢

2008-05-22T16:54:00.005+08:00

今天又没上班，
生病了，而且很辛苦。

喉咙发炎+咳嗽+鼻子流鼻涕=真的不是很好的combination。

bunny 很有耐心，
我一直说辛苦，
他就一直说我会好起来，
真的很可爱。

好喜欢好喜欢他给我的这种感觉。

现在想起来，
“他”让我喜欢上以前都不喜欢的东西。

以前，
我不喜欢听别人唠叨。
现在，
却喜欢他对我啰嗦。

以前，
我不喜欢别人叫我做事。
现在，
却喜欢听他的话。

以前，
我不喜欢被人家管。
现在，
却喜欢这种被管的感觉。

以前，
我不喜欢男生占有欲太强。
现在，
却喜欢他对我的保护。

以前，
我不喜欢对足球疯狂的男生。
现在，
觉得他对足球的热诚并不令人讨厌。

以前，
觉得成绩太好的男生都很烦。
现在，
喜欢他聪明得可爱。

以前，
我不喜欢在男生面前哭，
因为很丢脸。
现在，
想哭的时候却只想到他，
想要他轻声地对我说一切都会没事。

以前，
我不喜欢听男生的蜜语甜言。
现在，
却喜欢听他对我说我有多重要。

以前，
我从来不撒娇，从来不装可爱。
现在，
变得很孩子气，喜欢听他说我很可爱。

以前，
利嘴尖舌的我不喜欢听他人说我的不是。
现在，
却喜欢我做错了事，
他温柔地对我说一切都不要紧。

好多好多的不喜欢，
都变成了今天的喜欢。
好多好多从前的不是，
都变成了今天的是。

what about you, bunny? :3

money woes

2008-05-21T11:14:00.003+08:00

bunny called in the morning to wake me up for work, but my throat was hurting damn badly, so i sent an sms to my manager telling him i won't be going down to the office today. he promptly replied "okay, take care and drink more water." hmm, since when our manager is so 好死，telling me to take care? oh well. i guess it's only polite to return a "take care" message.

quarrelled with my mum after that, and she hit me. sigh, i don't understand why am i the one paying all the bills? i don't mind paying for the internet and for my own phone bill, but what's with her telling me to pay the house phone and ELECTRICITY too?!

hello, 水电费也要我还啊？！my pay is super miserable, it's not much, not even enough for me to spend already and my mum still wants me to pay for the bills. i don't even use our HOUSE PHONE leh. she's the one using the house phone to call out to her friends...

im only a 20 year old leh, you tell me how many 20 year olds out there pay for all the bills one?!

... 真的是气死人。
真够他妈的法克。

变化，变化。。

2008-05-19T10:49:00.004+08:00

今天突然有感而发，
想用中文写簿落格。

中文程度不强的我，
不会看中文字的我，
竟然写起了中文。。
哈哈哈，是不是很奇怪。。

最近我的生活起了很大的变化，
不论是在工作上或是在生活上，
都起了很大的变化。

是好是坏，
现在还不能仔细的，明白的说清楚。
只能说它让我的生活翻天覆地。

已经不再跟妈妈在同一间办公室上班了，
感觉轻松了一些，
因为妈妈不必再为我工作上的表现烦恼。
其实，她从来没必要烦恼；
我的表现一直很好，
一直一直一直很好。

搬到了新的办公室，
业绩一下子滑落了许多。
在这里的人潮并不多，
可以算是很少。

新工作环境也很闷热，
让我的心情有些些烦躁。
我很怕热，
最喜欢凉爽的工作环境。

唉，工作环境不能换，
只好忍着点。
至少新同事对我都还不错。

但业绩怎么办呢？
满头脑袋有的经验和knowledge，
在这里都用不上。。

meme #1

2008-05-18T00:13:00.005+08:00

i can't believe im so bored that i actually did this...

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
Ans: they're divorced.

2) Are you a vegetarian?
Ans: no. i'll never ever be a vegetarian. i love meat!

3) Do you believe in Heaven?
Ans: hmm... 半信半疑咯~ better give it the benefit of the doubt.

4) Have you ever come close to dying?
Ans: uh, no.. not yet.

5) What jewelery do you wear daily?
Ans: only my earrings. are watches considered jewelery?

6) Favorite time of the day?
Ans: at night. around.. 12~2am?

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Ans: yeah!! i like broccoli~

8) What is your hair styling agent?
Ans: what? you mean the brand or the hairstylist?

9) Ever have any surgery? If so, when?
Ans: never had any surgery. thank god.

10) Do you color your hair?
Ans: yeah, i dunk my whole head into bat guano and got it colored brown.

11) What do you wear to bed?
Ans: a sloppy-looking tee and my shorts.

12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
Ans: nope, if you don't consider downloading mp3s or littering illegal.

13) Can you roll your tongue?
Ans: no. i can live well with that.

14) Electric razor or blade?
Ans: i don't have a beard/moustache, but if you insist, i use blade to shave my leg hairs. HAHAHA!

15) What kind of shoes usually?
Ans: FLIP FLOPS FTW!! but sometimes sneakers too..

16) Do you condone Abortions?
Ans: yeah why not? it's the mother's choice whether if she wants to bring the child into the world.

17) What is your Hair color?
Ans: Black FTW!!

18) Future child's name? Boy or girl?
Ans: girl - Haylena, Yae Goong (雨宫), boy - R___ K___ Junior :P

19) Do you snore?
Ans: when im really tired, yeah i'll snore.

20) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
Ans: England, LONDON!

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Ans: uh, i do have toys on my bed but i kick them all to the floor when im gonna sleep.

22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Ans: CHEER immediately! and then call my mum to tell her the good news.

23) Gold or platinum/white gold?
Ans: white gold!! gold is too orbiang liao la~

24) Hamburger or hot dog? Which one comes faster?
Ans: hot dog~~

25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ans: omg. that would be killing me.. im a 贪新厌旧 person..

26) City, beach or country?
Ans: country!! i've been living in the city all my life, kinda tired of all the hussle.. im not exactly keen on playing in the water as well..

27) What was the last thing you touched?
Ans: the " . " button on this keyboard.

28) Where did you eat last?
Ans: infront of my laptop.. had 杯杯面。

29) When's the last time you cried?
Ans: hmm.. a few nights ago.

30) Do you read blogs?
Ans: yeah, quite frequently too.

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Ans: i wear tees and jeans everyday.

32) Ever been involved with the police?
Ans: indirectly yes. it wasn't a very pleasant incident.

33) What's your favorite shampoo and soap?
Ans: Shampoo - Head & Shoulders (ocean feel), Soap - Dove

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
Ans: sometimes.

35) Ocean or pool?
Ans: im not someone for water activities...

38) Window seat or aisle?
Ans: definitely aisle! i don't like to be restricted to a window seat.

39) Ever met anyone famous?
Ans: yeah. have met quite alot of famous people on streets or at company events..

40) Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life?
Ans: no, to be honest, my life has been pretty unsuccessful...

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Ans: twirl~

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Ans: Gary 曹格，or 江毅威? :P

43) Basketball or Soccer?
Ans: none. im not a sports person. well, perhaps soccer, since my bunnybunny boyboy likes soccer :P

44) How long do your showers last?
Ans: if i need to shit, 1 hour. otherwise, 30~45 mins.

45) Automatic or stick shift?
Ans: i don't have a driving liscence.

46) Cake or ice cream?
Ans: ice cream! ben & jerry's strawberry cheesecake ftw!!

47) Are you self-conscious?
Ans: nope, not really. im a kinda sloppy person.

48) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
Ans: yeah, i tend to throw up when i drink a little bit too much than i can handle.

49) Have you ever given money to a begger?
Ans: yeah. will never do that again.

50) Have you been in love?
Ans: yeah..

51) Where do you wish you were?
Ans: uh. what?

52) Do you wearing socks with your shoes?
Ans: obviously la. shoes without socks are like so, ewww...

53) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Ans: yeah, when i had dengue fever and had to be transported from TTS to KK.

54) Can you tango?
Ans: no, i can't dance.

55) Last gift you received?
Ans: uh... cute little green monster from my yoyoyo.

56) Last sport you played?
Ans: ....... captain's ball, 2 years ago, in secondary school.

57) Things you spend a lot of money on?
Ans: i do alot of mindless spending so i don't know where the majority of my money goes to. the few regulars are: movies, kbox outings..

58) Where do you live?
Ans: ang mo kio, singapore.

59) Where were you born?
Ans: Thomson Medical Centre

60) Last wedding attended?
Ans: .... don't remember.

63) Most hated food(s)?
Ans: there's no food i really hate, but i seriously dislike parsley and celery.

64) What's your favourite?
Ans: sleep comes first, then shit, and finally eat.

65) Can you sing?
Ans: yeah i can. but i sound horrible. who can't sing?

66) Last person you instant messaged?
Ans: bunnybunny boyboy, but he never reply me.. :(

67) Last place you went on holiday?
Ans: Europe, France. that was in december 2007.

68) Favorite regular drink?
Ans: 皇家奶茶，麦香奶茶，jasmine green tea

69) Tag 3 friends:
Ans: my bunnybunny boyboy, yandao bubu, zenny buta

70) Current Song?
Ans: not listening to any song now, but im now addicted to 擦肩而过 by 李圣杰．

i can't believe i spent 2 hours on this shit.

random entry #1

2008-05-05T14:56:00.004+08:00

hmm, seeing that the pyong has already blogged an entry about his workplace, i figured i should do the same too, since im always whining about how much i hate my job. :P

this used to be my seat. yes, i brought the pooh cushion from home. :P

but then, i got shifted to the counter since they needed a japan/korea/europe expert. ):

this is how my drawer looks like. incredibly messy. XD

Chicken Cutlet + Chicken Feet meepok!! i have this for dinner almost everyday~~

and when im not having the meepok, im having SUBWAY!! :D

cute toy keychain that Charlie got for me~ she calls it miss angangang. -_-

overall i have pretty good colleagues who bought me chocolates, milkshakes and chicken wings to cheer me up when i went back to work after my grandma's funeral. especially Charlie! totally loved the miss angangang. hahaha. (:

it's all over.

2008-05-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

today's the last day of my grandma's funeral. i suddenly felt a great rush of emotions overwhelming me when i saw her coffin being lowered into the ground. it felt like i lost someone dear for good.

i didn't cry much during the funeral, only teared abit here and there. but the atmosphere was indeed very depressing. i cried buckets when she was about to be buried. i was never someone who would cry in public, but i still did. perhaps it's because memories of her when i was young came flooding into my mind.

i remember that granny doted on me alot. she would wake me up in the middle of the night to feed me bird's nest (much to my protests). she would make me her signature chwee kueh whenever i said i felt like eating it. i loved her curry chicken too - it was the best i've ever had.

i don't know when i started hating this loving grandma of mine. maybe it started when i found out that she urged my father to divorce my mother when their marriage was on the rocks. i know it isn't anybody's fault, but still i hated their side of the family.

i hated them, and i still do, but i guess now that my grandma's gone, nothing matters much anymore, since i won't be contacting my father that much. grandma has always been the bridge to link me and my father together. with her death, this bridge has collapsed...

depressing things are happening...

2008-04-28T14:34:00.002+08:00

my paternal grandma passed away the day before i was supposed to go on my Sunway Lagoon trip, which was 2 days ago, on sunday.

i went to her funeral yesterday, and everybody looked so solemn and stern. perhaps stern is not the right word to use. it just seemed like they're not in the mood to talk to anyone. i felt the same too.

the funeral will go on for the next 3 days i guess. by then, i hope i would've felt better.

* * * * *
i finally told him how i felt. i feel really sorry, i didn't want to hurt anybody. i didn't mean to be selfish...

crafting ftw!!

2008-03-27T09:29:00.003+08:00

S> lv 40/55 Adept Rings!! :D

have started crafting 2 days ago, and now im like totally addicted. crafted till im left with only 1m, and yet i still can't stop. :X sold some of the lv 40 adept rings i crafted and they're selling quite well. the problem's with the lv55 ones.. haven't sold any of them yet. :/

ryuu also bought me my shadowtitanium blade and an EOG+3 to match with my shadowsteel adept set. now all that's left would be my helm and i'll be all done!! :D thanks alot dearie. <3 you much for that!!

currently vending at the warp centre. am contemplating whether i should head for work with this bad backache (and fever) of mine... but then i've been at home for 4 days already. /sigh..

it's bad to be in a situation where you're not exactly 100% sick, but you can't work because of illness. it's kinda like.. sick, but not sick?

... right. i don't even know what im talking about. ignore me.

-pouts-

pissed.

2008-03-25T18:00:00.003+08:00

WARNING: emo post ahead.

first of all, i don't know what's eating you. that's just the way i talk. if you don't like it, then too bad, cus that's the way i am. what i did, was just to merely ask a very simple question. i don't see how that could piss anyone off.

besides, i don't think you have the right to be angry that i ignored you, since you did make me angry first.

sigh.. you make me feel worthless. like i can't do or say anything right. you make me feel so wrong. you make me lose confidence in the things that i used to be so proud of.

you make me weak.

i wonder, how much do i mean to you?

just how much?

hello blogspot!!

2008-03-25T14:56:00.000+08:00

oh wow~

haven't got any idea why i setup a blog, since all i've been doing is playing cabal online. perhaps i could blog about my in-game progress. :/

currently waiting for my maid to come home with my meesiam/mee rebus. actually i don't mind wanton mee or nasi lemak again, too. (psst: i had nasi lemak for breakfast).

erm,
....................

*speechless*

i guess i'll come back and blog again when i've got more things to say.